An Anything-Goes Q&A with a Teacher

Ever wanted to have an anonymous no holds barred interview with your child’s teacher in which they were under the influence of truth serum, and you knew you would get 100% honest answers? While I cannot speak for ALL teachers, I can speak for myself as an experienced teacher and the observations I have made throughout my teaching career.  Since Ignite Learning Company has two founders, who also just happen to be sisters, we were able to have a totally open and honest conversation with her asking a wide variety of questions. 

Meet the participants: Myself (Natalie), the teacher half with courage to answer these questions and Holly, the parent half with burning questions. Here we are goofing off at a family event last year:

Now on to the questions. These fall into categories of general, (semi-)controversial, awkward and even “oh my gosh are you REALLY going to make me answer that honestly?”  Here you go!  

#1: Do you actually like my kid? Do you care about them as much as you tell me?! I mean, realistically I know that teachers have SO MANY kids in their care.  Can you really care that much about all of them? (PS I've seen those teacher "secret code" videos...)

Wow! Let’s just go ahead and get right to it! No pressure right?  It’s not like parents all over the world are going to hate me…right?  Because the hard answer to this is Yes I like your kid….but maybe not as much as I gush about to you.  But don’t hate us! We do that because we want you to like us and feel 100% comfortable trusting us with your child.

#2: Do teachers have favorites?

Yes we do have favorites and students that for whatever reason we just connect with more naturally and if your kid is one of those then maybe we do care about them as much as we tell you.  We also have kids that are not our favorites, that get on our last nerve and WEAR US OUT, but for me at least, by the end of the year I realize that those are the students that challenge me and make me a better teacher and person and those are the students that we never forget.

#3: What do parents do that you LOVE? What warms your heart, makes your life easier, or helps my kid the most at school?

Teachers LOVE  it when parents send in supplies for our classroom!  But please ask your teacher what they are in need of before buying anything.  Teachers spend a ridiculous amount of their own money every year on instructional materials, supplies, items for fun projects and snacks.

I also LOVE it when parents share achievements and moments they have had with their child that are related to something they have learned or experienced in my classroom.  Simple comments like, “Mrs. A, over the weekend I was outside with Tevin and the moon was very pretty and he told me all about the phases of the moon that he has been learning about in class,” really do alot for teacher morale and give us that little extra boost of teacher fuel that we need.

Finally, this isn’t really something that parents do, but some of my most heartwarming moments are when past students come back to visit me.  Whether it is just to say hi, give me a hug and tell me what they are up to; or thank me for some impact I made on their life, big or small. At the end of the day, teachers just want to make a difference so if you have a teacher that made a difference in your life big or small, GO TELL THEM!!

#4: What do parents do (or not do) that drives you crazy? 

Give me a minute while I organize the huge flood of thoughts that just came rushing in. 

Not checking or keeping up with flyers that are sent home or emails and classroom messages that are sent out regarding important upcoming dates or events and then contacting me the day before or DAY OF as if you had no idea (which you probably didn’t because you HAVEN’T BEEN KEEPING UP with what I go to a lot of trouble to make and send out).

Not paying attention to your student's graded work that is sent home or checking their grades and then freaking out when you get their report card and they have a bad grade and wondering, why didn’t the teacher tell me this?!

#5: Does it really matter if I’m involved at school or not? Between STEM nights, dress up days, PTO meetings, sign-up requests, national come read to your kid day, chaperoning field trips, attending holiday/special programs, PE with your kid day, eat lunch with your kid day, etc. I sometimes feel like a failure! How important is all this? Does my kid feel left out when I can’t participate? Which ones are the most important?

Overall, YES, it does matter, and as a teacher I think it is extremely important that you be involved in school activities, BUT within reason and when you can. Some of the happiest and proudest moments I have witnessed a student have is when they have a parent visit the school.  They love showing you our classroom, their desk, their accomplishments and they love showing you off as well!  When you come to the school it sends messages that you care about them and their education is important to you.  This next part is going to be hard to hear, but YES your kid does feel left out when you can’t participate.  I gained some very interesting perspective on this when I made the transition from parent to teacher and saw firsthand the disappointed faces of my own students when they didn’t have a parent come to an event. As a mother myself I was heartbroken thinking about special days at school I had missed and felt terrible at the thought of my own kids feeling let down when I couldn’t be there.

Now let’s be real here…..as a parent you are not going to be able to be involved in or attend all the things school related, and we don’t expect you to.  Here is what I suggest: have a chat with your child and ask them which special days/events are the most important to them that you attend and make those a priority by putting them in your calendar and committing to be there.  By doing this your student will know ahead of time when you will be able to participate and have something to look forward to and be less likely to feel disappointed for those times you cannot be there because they weren’t expecting you to anyway!

As far as which ones are the most important I would say school wide holiday/special programs are at the top of the list, but honestly only because, from my experience, these are the most highly attended.  If your kid could care less if you come to the Spring Music Program and would rather you be able to come to Track and Field day, then do that!  

I would also like to add that being a part of your school’s PTO in some way is also important and greatly appreciated.  You don’t have to be an officer or sign up to help for every event, but participate and help out on whatever level you are able to.

#6: What do teachers talk about when parents aren't around?

Ha! This is cute. We talk about the same things you probably talk to your co-workers about! We talk about TV show dramas, funny TikToks, our own children and pets, plans for the weekend, and our bosses (sorry principals!). We are just normal people :-)

#7: If you had an unlimited amount of money and/or time for your school, what would you do differently?

Hmmmmmm just off the top of my head… First, I would put a special education teacher inside each classroom to co-teach with grade level teachers. I really would like to change the separation we see in schools today between general education and special education. However, the reason we have that separation is because the general education teacher can’t do it all alone. I would also buy a variety of desks and chairs for students to choose from (stand up desks, stools, wobble stools, balance ball chairs, etc.) so that they could be more comfortable and “at home” in the classroom.  Finally, I would have Jay Shetty come and work with administrators, teachers and students to help create and implement a daily school-wide mindfulness program.

#8: How do you think parents help their kids the most when it comes to success - either academically or overall - in school?

In general I think parents help their kids the most by just being actively involved in their lives and taking a genuine interest in what their kids are currently involved in, doing and what they have to say.  This makes them feel loved and safe and eager to be successful in school.  With everything we have to distract us these days, sadly I feel like so many kids lack having a meaningful relationship with their parents.  Trust me, when a student thinks their parents don’t care, then they don’t care either.

What hurts the most?

In addition to the previously mentioned, it is also harmful to a kid’s overall success in school when a parent has a negative attitude towards the school, a teacher, a policy, the curriculum, etc.  Kids look to their parents for guidance and many times model their behavior. So if you are sitting at the dining room table trying to help your kid with homework while simultaneously venting about how hard or stupid a math problem is and complaining that the teacher should send home more examples if he/she expects you to be able to do it at home–then you are just sending a negative message to your kiddo that is likely to result in their attitude towards school, and thus success, declining.

#9: My kid gets generally good/average grades - mostly As & Bs, occasional C, but not failing.  Will he or she be ok? How important do you think grades are to overall success? Life success?

I had so many thoughts on this question, I made a whole post about it. You can read it here: Just How Important Are Grades?

#10: What is a stereotype about teachers you wish would go away?

I’m not sure if this is necessarily a stereotype, but I wish the mindset that all learning happens in the classroom would go away.  A child’s education is not solely dependent on the teacher. Parents are a child's first and often most constant teacher. Education is and will always be a partnership between parents and schools.

So, there you have it.  Honest and open answers, thoughts and opinions from a teacher on common questions parents have but are too afraid to ask.  We had a lot of fun doing this and I hope it was enlightening to you in some way!  Do you have more questions?  

I would love to hear from you to get to know you better, answer any questions you may have and, of course, hear what would help you help your child in math.  We have lots of FREE downloadable math resources to do just that and are constantly looking for new ideas and better ways to serve you.